The Cooking Channel

[pyral]

Time to expose all your terrible recipes to the world.

I was intending to do this someday because once in a while I blab cooking at times, I never stashed stuff to public archives that don't suck. Also since this place is basically where I dump notes on game developers of a critter-based niche, everyone ought to know how to cook cheap and quick meals, because no one can afford the time or money for food.

Squash, the ultimate padding

Okay NEETs and gamedevs. Time to learn how to cook. First off I use a cast iron pan. They take a little more work to clean and maintain, but it's relatively not that much and it cooks some things perfectly. Eggs and such in particular. Plus cleaning burnt-on stuff with a chainmail scrubber is way easier than cleaning burnt-on stuff with a non-stick. You can also use metal spatulas and such without damaging the pan. I also am lazy and don't want to wash more than one pan, so I do one-pan cooking with a big Lodge pan (for like 30$) and I'll cook an entire meal in it. Easy cleanup.

I realized the power of squash as a filler food. We get a lot from donation boxes because I guess no one buys them at the store. It was so much we always gave away but I realized I ought to try making use of it and now it's a common snack or half of a meal. But first, the pan needs oiling. Except I don't always season the pan since I'm lazy. I do occasionally but not always. As long as it's enough to cook bacon on, it's fine to start.

Bacon time

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What I'll do is put a couple strips of bacon on a pan and throw it in the mini-oven for 8-10 minutes at 400F. Meanwhile I nab zucchini, summer squash, whatever's in reach and slice them all up. If you want something quick and easy. Just chop up squash and throw it in a pan with a tiny bit of oil and salt. Won't have to wait for bacon.

Vine vipers work too.

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Reusing bacon grease lets me save on oil. You really don't need a lot of oil. Maybe a teaspoon or three. But you need no oil if you just use bacon grease. So let that add some savoriness to the squash. With the fire on medium or low, I can just take bacon out and add all the squash. A little salt if you're American, too. Make sure to nudge them around while they cook. I'm usually cleaning dishes or bullying someone online or something and shift and flip things around. If not using the bacon grease, you ought to be more aggressive with it so things don't burn too hard or cook one-sided.

Bacon grease does the job for me thanks.

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If you want the full experience and have some eggs, now you dump those out. The grease makes the already fair nonstick properties of a seasoned pan even more nonstick. Two eggs with all that squash is pretty hefty, with bacon to add some extra savoriness. Cast-iron holds heat, so you don't need it to hold high especially if it came out of the oven. Low/mid is enough. I usually give it a minute then flip, another minute or two, flip again. Whatever. Use best judgement.

Now the eggs. Duh.

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By this point, 5-7 minutes have passed. The bacon's been out for a little bit. So if I haven't turned heat off yet, I will now and take everything out, then put the bacon back just to give it a little extra warmup, before I return it to the plate.

Reheat time

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FInally.

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I don't really have a recipe for any of this. It's all just eyeballing. I throw whatever I have in a pan and call it a day often. Don't forget the jalapenos. There was goat cheese in the fridge. Abnormal and not really tried it before but I went with it and it was okay. Parmesan's good on squash. Cutie oranges are easy to peel. I can't peel oranges otherwise.

Like I said, squash alone you can cook pretty fast. Just don't cut terribly thick or thin. Use a tiny bit of oil (avacado oil I use in extremely small doses for seasoning due to the high heat point, so I use very small amounts for this too) and stir and flip slices around more aggressively, within 30-60 seconds probably for a few minutes until you get that golden brown on both sides.

Ready for the next session.

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The pan's too hot to clean immediately, but whether oil or bacon grease, but you can pretty much reuse it all day if you make another serving a couple hours later. Cast iron does need good chainmail scrubbing and occasional seasoning, but seasoning from prior in the day's the easiest. I'd also do stuff like cook burgers in bacon grease or the like. Seasoned cast iron is decently nonstick and food comes out pretty well consistently once you get the hang of cooking with this a few times.

Now give me the Krabby Patty secret formulae.